Concert Happenings (last 13 taken from Blanche Parker's Star Profile)

"Matt is quite the He-Man drummer." (after Matt broke his kick drum pedal)

James: "We got the Chicago blues, you see."
Billy: "Would you like to tell everyone what kind of blues we're about to play?"
James: "Uhhh&yes. Well. Let's examine the music. It starts off with a four four times signature distorted guitar chord&then it goes into a&wuh?"
Billy: "That's not what I mean."
James: "Oh it's uh, cyber metal. Cyber futuristic metal. Let's&let's fucking rock! I'm sorry. What what. I'm sorry. I stopped him halfway through the speech."
Billy: "The cyber blues."
James: "Oh. That part escaped me. Cyber blues-rock. Lets rock."
Billy: "That's it?"
James: "Um alright. The name."
Billy: "These people paid a lot of money for an explanation..."
James "Listen. It's been a while since I've been to college so I will just give an introduction to the name of the song. Ladies and gentlemen, the name of this next song is *whispers* X.Y.U."

James: "And now, the man behind the drumkit, we've introduced him before but now we have to give him a proper introduction...all the way from Willbet...Matt Cosmo Walker. Yes. Matt. Matt's an old family friend of ours and uh, his father and my father went ice fishing about 15 years ago in Saskatoon. They met at a bait shop. I& found this out just weeks ago and I'm still flustered so...."
Billy: "Are you saying that you're Matt's uncle?"
James: "Yes. Yes."

"Hello? Devil? Is that you, Devil? Whatchoo sellin' Devil? A lake of fire? Seven deadly sins? An everlasting gas fire BBQ grill? I don't want any of that, Devil! I'm going to have to say goodbye to you, Devil... I hung up on the devil, ladies and gentlemen. Have you had that problem yourself? The Devil callin' you, and you don't have caller ID?" - at the Guvernment in Toronto on March 12th 2000

James: "Good evening Oakland!"
Billy: "James, we're not in Oakland."
James: "Good evening San Francisco!"
Billy: "We're not in San Fransisco either. (to the crowd) See, there is something many of you may not know about James. He's a robot, and when we're on tour, we kinda forgot to reprogram him sometimes so he gets confused easy. That's also why he smells so bad since we can't give him a shower."

James: "Put on your space helmets for this one..we're going to the mar..the moon."
Billy: "The..the mall!?" *Billy and D'arcy laugh*
James: "We're going to the mall." *D'arcy teases*
James: "I was going to say Mars..and I said..and I thought.."
Billy: "..And you know what happens when you go into the're asking for it."
James: "Uhh.." - 4-12-96

"I'm feeling pretty lucky..two songs in a row, no explosions." -James, 3-31-98

Billy: "Because of the unpredicatable nature of Smashing Pumpkins fan-type-people we can no longer do the dancing on stage.."
James: "It seems that whenever we did such an act, we only got psychopaths onstage and uh.."
Billy: "Of course, not that there are any crazy people here but, never know."
- 1-7-00

James: "We'd like to say hello to all the people up there in the third balcony, we appreciate your enthusiasm
D'arcy: "Yeah..yeah..James, right..James isn't even wearing his glasses! Someone TOLD him there was a third balcony, but I can see you! and you look great!"
James: "And to the people on the second balcony.."
D'arcy: "I have contact lenses!"
James: "..keeping the faith." - San Diego 99

Billy: Thanks for hitting me with your necklace, I appreciate it.
James: We'd like to thank the crazy man with the superballs. Come backstage and, ah, I'll show you a fucking superball, you...
Billy: Yeah, keep throwing those superballs you motherfucker. Keep 'em coming. Sooner or later we're going to find out who you are and beat the shit out of you.
James: Argh! Damn the man! He's right there! I see him! Beat him! Punch him! Do you have a brick? Hit him.
Billy: You're the superball man?
James: No no, not that man.
Billy: You're still a dick for getting up.
James: But he has one of our t-shirts though!
Billy: Well, he did have a t-shirt, sorry about that.
ImNotDArcy: James: You are gonna get it, you!
Billy: Well go ahead and throw all the shit you have to throw now, at least we can see it.
James: Fucker.
Billy: Go ahead. See the lights are on, now we can see you. What's the matter, don't want to
throw anything now?"

"So with Jimmy not being here today...he was...he was actually out in ocean boogie boarding...and uh...he was boogie boarding along off the shore by the hotel, and this jellyfish...real jellyfish...landed right on his eye...and right now they're both in the hospital...they're trying to save both of far as I know the jellyfish...Jimmy is in stable condition...the jellyfish is in uh..I guess it's in the emergency room right now. Apparently the jellyfish...he's a real fighter...the jellyfish is giving 110% out there...and we're all praying for that jellyfish to make it through." James on the Sacred and Profrane Tour, 1st day Jimmy wasn't present

March 31, 1998
::starts playing "Sound of Love"...interrupted by loud, raucous noise::
James: Pardon me! [laughter]
James: [laughs] Mr. Soundman, what was that?
Some dude in the crowd: The sound of love! [laughter]

...and after the 5-20-00 concert by the buses, we all saw James appear, and he JUMPED INTO THE BUSHES!!!! LOL

The band was talkative. Guitarist James Iha bantered about his collection of frozen things and Corgan's played silly tricks of catching guitar picks in his mouth. (August 16 1996)

January 4, 1996 - Reno, Texas - James sings a Johnny Cash song with the lyrics, "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die," much to the crowd's amusement.

May 2, 1996 - Cascais, Portugal - James introduces Billy: "And on the microphone, Mr. Bryan Adams!" Billy responds, "It cuts like a knife, let me tell you."

May 6, 1996 - Paris, France - James tells the crowd, "Since we're from Chicago, we're going to play some Chicago blues." But then Jimmy starts drumming a very fast beat and James breaks into "I'm the firestarter!" (from "Firestarter" by Prodigy)

May 10, 1996 - Glasgow, Scotland - Billy and James act out a scene from Braveheart.

July 5, 1996 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - Billy tells the crowd that they are going to play a song "for all the lovely people I met today" and the band breaks into "Fuck You (An Ode to No One)." Billy later challenges James to say something witty, so James goes into a whole routine about the 4th of July and how he sided with the British and thinks America should apologize to the British and rejoin them to form a super-colony. Billy plays right along with this, telling the audience that many people think the next song is about his childhood, but really it's about laying down our arms and going back with the British. They then play "Disarm."

September 9, 1996 - Providence, Rhode Island - At one point during the show, James starts to sing Oasis's "Champagne Supernova" and D'arcy kicks him.

September 29, 1996 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - Billy claims James talked hockey star Mario Lemieux into coming back to play again, and promises that if the Pittsburgh Penguins win the cup, the Pumpkins will come back and play a special concert.

December 14, 1996 - San Francisco, California - James: "Hello, San Francisco. Time to break out some of that psychedelic sixties shit!"

January 7, 1997 - Portland, Oregon - Billy and James talk about the Portland Trailblazers, calling them the "Phazers" and making comments about how they shouldn't have traded Clyde Drexler.

January 14, 1997 - Sioux Falls, South Dakota - It's about 5 degrees above zero outside, with a wind-chill factor of around negative 40, and James hails the crowd: "Thank you, Miami, for sticking with us!"

January 15, 1997 - Omaha, Nebraska - Billy leaves the stage during the set. James tells the crowd: "Billy has a touch of Ebola." He then has Jimmy Frog come out and tells him they have to find a way to entertain the crowd. They stand there trying to think of something to do. Billy comes back out eating an apple. D'arcy says, "Billy just felt the need to have a little snack." Billy throws the apple core into the audience and the show continues.

January 18, 1997 - Bloomington, Indiana - Billy tells the crowd that James is Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight's nephew and that Bobby was really dissapointed that James chose music over basketball.

February 1, 1997 - Jacksonville, Florida - James makes fun of Bush and their song "Swallowed." He wonders aloud why Gavin Rossdale would chose to do that fly-themed video. "Granted, I may wear a dress in a video, but no flies."